Calorie Counter

Why Should I Stop Counting My Calories?

Every professional I talked with told me I should stop counting my calories.

BUT NO ONE COULD GIVE ME A REASON WHY. 

It took me forever to be convinced. 

And actually, what convinced me wasn’t a professional, but a friend. 

She had just had a baby, and was starting to lose the baby weight. I knew that she too had struggled with food, and one day I asked her what she was doing to lose weight. What she said surprised me, 

“I don’t count calories because it would trigger my eating disorder (she was anorexic), I just watch what I eat and exercise regularly.” 

WHAT. 

A revelation. 

I had counted my calories for years. 

Knowing what I was putting into my body gave me a sense of control. 

Psychologically it made me feel safe. 

I could live in the confines of my calories. 

There was a system. 

I couldn’t imagine eating non-meticulously, not watching what I was putting in. I thought that if I didn’t know EXACTLY how much was going into my body, I would just gain weight. 

Now this wasn’t unjustified either. 

I had gone brief periods of time where I just “ate how I felt like.”  But during those times I had not lost any weight. Sometimes I gained a couple pounds, sometimes I had just maintained my weight. But never had I lost any. I thought that the ONLY way I was going to lose weight and actually look the way I wanted to was if I counted my calories and knew what I put into my body. So it might come as a surprise that I tell you this, but when I stopped counting my calories and instead was mindful about what I ate, I too started losing weight.

See the thing is, counting calories MAKES SENSE LOGICALLY. But for those of us who have an unstable EMOTIONAL relationship with food, counting calories is detrimental. 

But why? 

After some reflection, I realized why counting calories was detrimental for me. 

It was triggering my black and white thinking. 

I either had “good” food days or “bad” food days. 

If I went 200 calories over my set amount, the day was ruined and this failure would often trigger me to binge.  

On top of that, I would wake up the next morning, and remember that yesterday was bad. 

Feelings of disgust and failure would arise and make me feel worse about myself. These uncomfortable feelings unfortunately also triggered my disordered eating behaviors. 

Instead of using my “failure” as motivation to do better with food the next day, I would turn to junk food for that quick spike of dopamine to make me feel better. 

The spiral would continue for a couple days until eventually I would snap out of it. 

After talking to my friend, I decided to stop counting my exact calories. Now, I try to eat three healthy meals a day plus a snack if I am hungry. I don’t always succeed, sometimes I have an extra snack or eat more than I plan to, but in general this is the routine I attempt to follow. Now I will warn you, this hasn’t completely stopped my binge episodes. However, it has greatly reduced them, and even though I still binge every so often, I am still managing to lose weight. Below, I will go over a more in depth example of why not counting calories helps me. 

Why Not Counting My Calories Has Reduced My Binges

I know that the breakfast I normally eat is probably around 600 calories. Everyday I eat oatmeal with protein powder, some blueberries, and a tablespoon or two of peanut butter. 

But here’s the thing. 

I no longer weigh out my oatmeal. I don’t section off my peanut butter so that it's EXACTLY two tablespoons.

Counting the EXACT amount does nothing good for me. 

Why?

Because on the days I want more blueberries in my oatmeal, I don’t stress about it. If I go 100 calories over my limit because I added one tablespoon of extra peanut butter it isn’t SENDING ME INTO EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. 

I AM BINGEING LESS BECAUSE I FEEL LESS LIKE A FAILURE. 

And because of that, I am winning. 

In an ideal world, you would eat exactly the amount of calories you plan to. 

But we are an emotional species. 

And sometimes pure logic looks good on paper, but doesn’t turn out the way we want it to in reality. 

You are (likely) not a bodybuilder. 

You (probably) do not need to lose weight by a certain date. 

Not counting your calories may mean you lose weight a touch slower than if you were exact about everything. But there are so many positives that come from halting your calorie counting that outweigh losing weight as fast as possible. 

What Should I Do Instead of Counting Calories? 

If you find yourself counting your calories but not losing weight because you keep bingeing, I HIGHLY encourage you to stop counting them. I implore you to try for two weeks, to just eat regular meals, at regular times. If you are trying to lose weight, stick to healthier foods. You don’t need to starve yourself or eat only salads everyday. You don’t need to completely cut out carbs. But just watch what you eat. You don’t need three tablespoons of butter on that bread. Or 5 donuts. Probably not a good idea to constantly snack. You know what you should and shouldn’t eat. Hold yourself accountable, but stop meticulously counting your calories. 

a. If you are ok with your body in its current state, try the “80/20 rule”. 80 percent of the time eat generally healthy meals, 20 percent of the time go ahead and splurge a little. This might look like eating regular meals, but going out for ice cream once or twice a week. It might mean having seconds at dinner if you’re still hungry. Maybe it’s allowing yourself to eat pizza every so often. I’m not saying go ham on junk food or start buying fast food everyday, but allow yourself to eat that donut you crave every once and a while. I promise you that our bodies are smart. They are made to tell us when we are hungry and full. Our bodies don’t want to make us obese, they want to maintain homeostasis. 

b. If you are not ok with your body in its current state, try eating 3 generally healthy meals and one snack a day. If you are reading this, you likely have counted calories before and know the gist of how many calories everything is. You probably already know what you should and shouldn’t eat in order to lose weight. (If you don’t, pick up my nutrition book in the “coming soon” section). I don’t know your goals or your body weight and shape, so I cannot accurately tell you how much you should eat. However I can tell you what I have been doing. I personally try to eat 3 meals and one snack. Each meal I eat is likely around 600 calories and my snack is probably 200. Thus, although I don’t count my calories, I can tell you that I probably eat about 2000 calories per day. I also workout regularly and have been losing weight by following this meal schedule. Try not to stress out if you have a “bad” food day or eat an extra meal and please don’t attempt to overcompensate by eating less the next day. Instead, jump back on your regular eating schedule. 

Do I have to stop counting calories forever? 

You don’t have to stop counting calories forever. 

Now that may go against what any professional recommends.  

However, I believe that once you develop a stable relationship with food, you may be able to count them if you so desire. 

Depending on how things shake out, I may eventually go back to counting mine. I believe that my “set point” i.e. where my body is at its most comfortable weight, is not where I want to actually be physically. Therefore, I may need to be a little more meticulous to eventually achieve the body I desire. 

But until I develop an emotionally stable relationship with food, 

And until I stop losing weight without counting calories, 

I will eat my regular meals, at regular times, without worrying too much about the exact number of calories I am consuming.